Before You Set Off to Happy CamperLand

So it's that time of year again when we feel the call of the open road. New places to see and exciting adventures just waiting for us! But before you lay in the supplies, wash the dogs and pack up the kids you may want to read this precautionary tale.
The story you're about to read is mostly true, the names have been changed to protect the guilty, er, innocent.


The trailer was all ready to go. Man and Wife set out to visit the Big Sky Country along with LittleBits, their young granddaughter.
Now every trip some things never change! Maybe it's the fact that three people have been confined together in close quarters. Maybe it's just the humor of our Maker showing us He really did make us out of two opposite molds. Try as she may to ignore the little differences between BoyBrain and WomanThink, Wife soon becomes exasperated with Man and things threaten to disturb all in Happy CamperLand! And it all boils down to directions! Or lack thereof -

You see, Man will sit and study maps of tomorrow's territory every evening. He then is SURE all has been stored in the wonderful male memory bank. Heaven forbid he should write down simple instructions (such as I90N to 94E, or any such things) because he KNOWS where we're headed!

Man forgets that the physical anatomy he possesses does not mean he has built-in GPS. Any special powers he may be endowed with does NOT equate to anything resembling MapQuest!

Any gentle suggestions from the Wife are treated with great scorn (remember Man KNOWS where we're going) and he never stops when he's sure he's right!

Another strange characteristic of Man is he plans point A, to point B, to point C, on to point D. If there is a deviation from that, BoyBrain says, "Must backtrack to B, resume on to C so we can get to D."
If Wife suggests that perhaps you could try point B1, to alternative point C (look here on the map sweetie?) and we WILL get to point D - Man scoffs at such foolishness! Of course, that could be a source of malcontent so Wife just smiles brightly and goes for the ride
Another favorite is when approaching a diversion in the road ahead at 70+ miles per hour, Man will shout, "Which way are we supposed to go? Can you find it on the map?"
I don't really know, sweetie, thought you had all that stored in the memory banks...




I must say this system sometimes does have unknown surprises, such as the diversion to Little Bighorn on this trip. We sort of stumbled on it while trying to find our way back to the main highway. You know, the one we missed because Man was SURE we needed to continue west...
Would love to spent lots more time there! So much history you can reach out and touch!

So the three vagabonds spend the morning on this historic land; reading the landmarks, visiting the museum, hearing the docents tales and trying to take in how awful it must have been for all those involved. Truly a thought provoking and awe-inspiring diversion!

Unfortunately, Wife became overheated in the bright sunshine and 98*, so it is important to get back to the camper parked at the Visitor Center and get cooled down. Heat brings on MS symptoms that are not always pleasant.

Wife understood the plan was to have a potty break in camper, then return to the truck and move out of parking space for other visitors. We would then go on down the road to find a nice lunch spot. Oh difference between BoyBrain and WomanThink...trouble is brewing!

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While Wife is having MS chesthug symptoms and (really) can't breathe fully, she attempts the camper potty. Not to give TMI, but this is a low stool and one must "lunge" from squatting position, grab side of shower and pull up.

While in this lunge position, Man has returned to the truck and released the clutch! Wife is totally unprepared for such a move and she is thrown headfirst off the stool!

While it can seem funny now, she found NO humor sprawled on the potty floor struggling to breathe, with pants and panties tangled around the ankles... Ok - you're right, TMI!
Can you see that things are getting a bit unhappy in CamperLand?

Wife had noticed that LittleBits had turned rather pouty baby on the field trip. Seems homesickness must have caught up with her. LittleBits says that there were grasshoppers everywhere (gasp!) They scared her so much she wasn't taking anymore pictures and hated this place! Tears and angry words - oh my!

Wife (otherwise also known as Grammy) is NOT in happy mood over all the current happenin's. She and LittleBits had their first and last power struggle of the entire trip! Wife is more than a little grumpy and LittleBits is pretty sure she knows where her own mama gets it...

After it was explained that chesthugs are sorta like when LittleBits has a bad asthma attack, tears and hugs were exchanged and all was calm again.

Things turned out fine! Wife cooled off, LittleBits settled down and a nice lunchspot was found. LittleBits made lunch for all of them as a perfect peace offering.

And Man and Wife had a serious discussion about map skills and directions. The rest of the trip went a lot smoother and things in CamperLand were happy once again!

So does Wife think it will hold for future trips - um, can she get back to you on that?

Anyway, good traveling and great adventures to all ready to hit that road! Have a great time!


(c) CHRobinson May 2010